So maybe mid-life crisis is a bit dramatic. But lately I've just been feeling so overwhelmed and frustrated with life. Here is what's swirling through my brain just today:
1. Not being a good enough employee, sister, neighbor, daughter, pet owner, etc.
2. Feeling like I want to accomplish so much more but limited for various reasons. [No one pipe up with anything is possible, because if you just can't afford to go to school, it ain't happenin].
3. Working out a ton and losing half a pound after a MONTH AND A HALF. A MONTH AND A HALF of running almost every single day. I don't want to be a skeleton people, but why can't I lose 5 pounds.
4. Did I mention not feeling good enough?
5. Paying the bills.
6. Feeling insecure for different reasons.
Mostly I just want to be so much more than what I'm currently at. I want to have a job where I contribute to our family's success and feel good at the end of the day like I accomplished something.
I feel like I'm not being a very good sport about life at the moment. Like a sore loser and I hate feeling like that. I want to be positive and happy with what I have.
And I know you can't always be perfect and that life isn't always easy and that I really have a great life and I shouldn't complain at all. But somehow that doesn't make me feel that much better. So maybe I need to change my attitude. I know...
I just felt like venting.
I found this music video that I love. It's realistic without masking how some people really feel in life. I know I can relate to not feeling good enough or comparing myself to others. I don't know anyone who hasn't struggled with self doubt at some point. I want my kids to know that I think they're beautiful and perfect no matter what.
[Sorry about the language in the title. The music video is edited]
I know I need to just learn to relax and dance in the rain instead of drowning in it.
P.S. Sorry that my blog just got a lot more honest. Deal with it. :]
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