The last month has been a whirlwind and it has been crazy but I have loved every second of finally meeting Jocelyn.
It feels so good to finally say her name and have a tiny face that looks up at me. My whole pregnancy I wondered what tiny person RJ and I had created. I wondered what she looked like, if she was actually a she, would she be healthy, would I be good at taking care of her.....
The list went on and on, but nothing prepared me for the tiny thing that I finally met on January 12th at 3:45pm. But I really didn't get to meet her until 8pm that night... so I'll tell you the story.
The last few weeks of being pregnant were really stressful. I was feeling like a Beluga Whale and quite grouchy. The company I work for was bought out by another company and I was in the midst of training a new person at my job and RJ had a big home show that he was working and his boss didn't particularly want him to leave to have a baby... so I kept telling myself I wouldn't have a baby just yet.
Then RJ called me at work on the 8th and had me come out to meet him. I thought he sounded odd so I was a little nervous to meet him and for good reason I suppose. He told me that he had gotten laid off from his job. I knew his voice didn't sound right and I figured something was up, but I would have never imagined that in a million years. We talked for a few minutes and then when I got back into work I realized later on that day... I was even more ready to have a baby. Although the timing was terrible, at least I knew that we could have a baby and we could be home together.
I went through the rest of that week eating my way through anything that came across my path and loafing around on the couch. I didn't have one ounce of nesting instinct... I think I was just too exhausted.
Friday finally rolled around and RJ took me out to lunch. After I got back to work I started to feel a little weird. I had told RJ at lunch that I had been feeling a little off that day but I figured since my due date was the following Sunday that I was probably just pregnant and feeling blah. The time from lunch until I left dragged by and I started feeling really nauseous. I went home and RJ and I took it easy and by about 6pm I was having cramps and really light contractions. But the contractions hurt! They were about 15 minutes apart and RJ and I Googled false labor and labor and everything in between for a couple of hours trying to determine if it was the real thing. I didn't want to go to the hospital if nothing was actually going on. For the next couple hours I barfed up everything I tried to eat or drink. I'm pretty sure I took about 8 million baths and showers.
We finally went to bed around 12:30 and I slept for about half an hour. It was too painful to just lay in bed so I tossed and turned and tried watching a movie. Finally at 2am I got up and decided to go downstairs and time my contractions since they were getting closer together and bounce on my exercise ball in front of the fireplace. I did that for an hour and at 2 my contractions were about 8 minutes apart and by 3am they were down to 4 minutes apart and getting closer. They weren't as painful as the previous evening so I was nervous that I would go to the hospital for nothing, but since they were so close together I was nervous that I would have a baby in my bathtub... not my idea of an ideal birthing situation.
I woke RJ up around 3:15 and pretty much bawled my eyes out. I told him my contractions were close together but not unbearably painful so I wasn't sure what to do. I think he knew that I'd never decide to go by myself so he said, well... let's just go. There's nothing to lose. We packed up a few things since I actually never really packed a hospital bag for myself and we headed out...
Into snow packed freezing roads. It was cold and we had to follow snowplows the entire drive that were going 45 mph which made the pregnant lady extremely happy...
I was so nervous the entire drive that we would get to the hospital and they'd tell us that we had to go home. It was a long drive out the LDS hospital.
Once we got there they got us all situated in a room and plugged me into the monitors. I was definitely in labor but when they checked to see how dilated I was... I was at a 1. 1!!!! I was so frustrated that I had been in labor all night and I was only dilated to a 1. The sweet nurse told me that she would come and check on me in an hour and see if I had progressed at all. And then we waited....
And when she came back an hour later...
Still at a 1.
But I had effaced a little bit so she called that progress and said I could stay one more hour.
I could have kissed her.
When she came back again I had only progressed slightly more but my contractions were now closer together and very consistent. With the weather and my contractions the nurse wasn't sure if she should send me home with some pain medication or let me stay and they could start me on Pitocin to help me dilate.
I think she saw a look in my eyes that said... PLEASE LADY!!! Don't make me go home!
So she called my doctor and told him what was going on and when she came back she said...
"Well it looks like your doctor would like you to stay, so you're having a baby today!"
I think this is when the whole pregnancy hit me. I finally realized that I was pregnant and that I was going to be a mom and that there was a baby inside my belly. I got scared!
All of these emotions came flooding in and I started to tear up a little bit.
In my mind I was ripping off the contraction monitor and running through the door with just my hospital gown, but really I smiled at the nurse and said, "Ok".
Then things started happening!
First things first.. I wanted an epideral.
My contractions hadn't been bad when I was rocking on my ball and pacing the floor, but once the nurse made me lie still in bed, they were painful and not so much fun. I was ready for the pain to be bearable.
The anesthesiologist wheeled in his cart and got to work. They made me sit sideways on the bed while he put it in. I was nervous that it would hurt so when he poked me with the tiniest needle to numb my back I jumped about 5 feet in the air so he had to poke me again. After that, it was painless and everything went smoothly.
My epideral was the weirdest feeling. I always felt like I could move my legs but then if I tried, no go. I think it was timed perfectly though because by the time I was ready to push I had no pain, but could move and feel my legs. It was perfect.
Once they got me situated they put in an IV and started the Pitocin.
They came in and broke my water.
And then we waited....
My parents got there and we chatted and waited and ate ice chips. I was so thirsty the entire time!
By this time I got pretty tired from being up all night and once the pain was gone I was able to get a few little naps in that helped a lot!
At around 1 pm I noticed a lot more pressure and called the nurse to have her check me.
I was finally dilated to an 8!
So we waited a little bit longer.
On one of the routine checks the nurse came in and checked my temperature and noticed that I had spiked a fever. They thought that it was odd since I hadn't had a fever any of the other times they checked during the day so they decided to run two antibotics through my IV before they delivered the baby since she it was likely that she would also be running a fever.
They came and hoooked me up to the antibiotics and then left us there to wait until I was fully dilated which took about an hour. We all made bets on when the baby would arrive and I told them the baby was coming at 3:30pm.
I was fully dilated but had to wait an hour or so to let the antibiotics run their course so I took a little power nap knowing that I would have to push soon.
And then the doctor showed up and said it was time to push!....
