Thankful

This year I have so much to be thankful for. 

I can't even start to write out everything that goes through my mind and everything that I couldn't go a day without. 

I think the biggest thing that I am thankful for this year is family. 

I have family redefined to me all the time and this year has been no exception. There hasn't been a month that has gone by that my family hasn't pleasantly surprised me and shown me so much love and support. 

So much has happened this year and it's been quite the emotional roller coaster. But despite many hard and sad things that I've had to go through I know that I have the best thing to look forward to next year. 

It amazes me how much I already love my little baby so much. How much I could care for something that I have never seen or met. It has definitely re-instilled my faith in things that you cannot see.

Even though something is not there to touch or look at, you can definitely love it. I already want so much for my little family. 

As I was peeling potatoes last night I thought, while I'm peeling potatoes next year I'm going to have an almost one year old girl trying to get into the pots and pans and I should definitely get in the habit of sweeping my kitchen floor more often. 

I thought of how it probably wouldn't go as smoothly next year and that Thanksgiving preparations wouldn't be so quick, but I didn't have one sense of dread or sympathy for myself and for my lost independence. RJ and I are more than ready to have our little family be together and all I can feel is calm. 

I'm thankful that this baby has taught me to have a little more faith in things you cannot see. 

Another thing that I am thankful for is being taught that life is precious. 

 

I've always adored my grandma and looked up to her. She is a wonderful lady that cooks better than anyone I personally know and she is a shining example of selflessness. She raised a big family and a lot of times didn't have any help. Every Sunday growing up she would cook dinner for the entire family and I have never heard her complain or talk bad about a single person. Not once.

Since my grandma's health hasn't been the best the last few months my grandma went to live with my parents and my mom has been caring for her. I have loved every second of getting to know my grandma all over again and even though she doesn't realize what she is saying or understand what I am saying back, when she tells me she loves me, I believe her. 

My grandma won't always be around to give hugs and kisses to, but I know that she'll still be watching over me and she'll always be in my heart helping me to be a better person, just from knowing her. 

I am thankful that she has taught me that you need to give love to those you care about because they won't always be around to do so.

 

Another thing I have to be thankful for is wonderful siblings. 

I didn't realize how hard it would be to not be able to talk to one of them whenever I want to. 

Lindsey has taught me so much in the last few weeks that she's been gone. 

She's taught me that you stick with the decisions you make, even when they're tough. 

She's taught me that loving someone means loving them no matter where they are or how far away. 

She also has taught me that I'm a big baby when it comes to change. I just want her to run back home and tell me that she's never leaving my side again. haha. 

The other person in this picture is my cousin Brandon. He taught me a lot the day that we dropped Lindsey off at the MTC. He promised her before they left that he would be there to see her get dropped off. Good on his promise, he was standing there waiting for us to get there. As soon as we got out to say goodbye, looking into his eyes was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. They were so torn. Torn between wanting to do what he knows is right for him and also missing his family so bad that it hurts. He showed me that sometimes you have to make sacrifices in order to be a better person.

I would be extremely ungrateful if I didn't have so much gratitude for RJ. 

The more time I spend with him and the more we grow up, the more I've learned that I couldn't have possibly found someone better for me than him. 

I have never really believed that there is just one person out there in the world destined for another. I figure you could easily live and love anyone you choose.

But on the other hand, I feel like we're a match made in heaven.
I couldn't possibly love someone more than I love him. 

The love he has shown me in the last year's time is enough to make any person feel like they have everything.

Learning that we're going to be parents was one of the scariest things for us as a couple and RJ has never batted an eyelash at the thought of our lives changing. He has treated me like gold and I know he'll do the same for our kid. 

This year I'm feeling very grateful for the people in my life. I struggle a lot not knowing what the future holds and why some things have to be so difficult, but I know that with the people I have in my life I can make it through anything. 

Happy Thanksgiving!